Be more sensitive

How much can you eat in a day or within a few hours if you are a small eater like me? The max I can go was to drink a glass of milk, finish a large set of McD mcvalue meal and 1 hour later, ate 4 pieces of pizza. Half and hour later, I finished a big plate of fried rice. I ended up hiding inside the toilet wanting to vomit.... Gosh... What a waste of food... And I felt so guilty about that... I have such tendency but I can still gain control of myself unless (of course) I am really very very very and I mean very very very; extremely stressed, emotional, etc... that I will lose control but that rarely happens because my conscience will kill me after that... =p

However, I can ignore eating for almost the whole day (at least I try to make myself to eat some biscuits or drink a glass of milk during meal time). I will get hungry but I don't have the appetite at all. The worst I got was when I fell sick a few months back - (fewer, diarrhea, flu). My lose of appetite turned out even worst one week later (even when I no longer have diarrhea) when I totally don't want to eat and drink. I made myself to eat but after 2 or 3 spoons of porridge/bee hoon soup, I straight away went to the toilet. My body system immediately processed those few spoons of food and within minutes, everything came out from my body. I lose 2-3kgs within a few days.

Just like people suffering from self-inflicting harm, we are not seeking attention when we showed our symptoms to others (especially close ones). This is because we are seeking HELP... not attention. We are calling out for help and we aren't torturing ourselves to gain others' attention. Don't worry. I am not calling for help because I am in control of myself. I make it a point to eat at least one meal a day. And at the rest of the day, if I don't eat, I will drink a glass of milk or have some sweets, chocolate...etc to maintain my glucose level; to avoid myself from feeling dizzy...

Please be more sensitive to people around you and you might be able to help or save them from eating disorder, self-inflicting harm or even suicide... Be more caring to others and if you are having problems, don't be afraid to tell someone close... Or if you really don't have anyone to turn to, I am always here for all my friends.