Question

I have written this post last weekend and didn't published it. Actually I have written a few posts during the weekend and planning to upload them one at a day because I know I will be so busy this whole week. I didn't intend to post this post up until the same question came up during my conversation with K these two days. I have edited a little of the content and adding a few more points into it (points from the conversation). Actually it's hard to use word to describe all this feeling. Certain things cannot be explained in words but rather you should use your heart/emotion to feel it.

I have been asking myself this question very often too: How do you stop caring for someone that you have care for many years?



It's odd to just completely stop caring for someone you have been loving and caring for many years; someone you have already thought as a family member. How odd it is that you can care for all your friends (close and not close) but not this person whom is the closest to you (sometimes) even closer than your next of kin. I wonder how do people move on? How do they stop caring for this person at all; out of a sudden?

How could 2 people who were so in love not end up happily ever after?

How do you stop caring for someone? Over here, I think that the weirdest thing is that this person who is the closest to you suddenly became an utter stranger to you. From someone whom you thought you know and understand the best to the most incomprehensible stranger that you have know in your life. There was once this comic strip that said that "If you really want to get to know someone, you have to break up with him" - the meaning here is that the person will only show his true colour during that time. However, I agreed with this more "if you really want to STOP knowing someone, you have to break up with him... from then on, you will go from being the people who knew each other the best in the world to being a pair of the most mutually incomprehensible strangers who ever lived" (Gilbert 2006, pp.17-18). That's because when you walked off from each other, the both of you continues to change and from that moment onwards, the both of you no longer know each other the best. You no longer know/understand that person because the connection between the two of you had been cut off.
Question: How do you let them go?
Actually this ain't that scary. The scariest thing is that before that person even walked away, he/she had already changed and had been putting up a mask in front of you. That's even scarier because you don't even recognize the person that you love any more. If that person changed after the love connection no longer exist then it would be a different story.
Not only that this question is applicable to a lover, it is also applicable to everyone you care off such as your best friends. What hurt more is that the person whom you take as the closest friend you have, don't even care about you. You can try acting like you don't care about this person but in fact you worry if that person will be hurt with your tidak apa attitude. But in the end, the little actions that you do don't even make a difference and you know that this so-called self proclaimed bff only takes you as a damn normal friend. But how do you stop caring for this friend. Lain di mulut, lain di hati. You will only tell yourself that you wouldn't care about this friend but in fact, you continue to care about them, continue to worry when you see them sad/emo.

I read in The Star and posted John Mayer's song lyric the other time:
Have no fear for giving in,
Have no fear for giving over,
You better know that in the end,
It's better to say too much,
Than never to say what you need to say.

I wonder how many people would understand this lyric? And how many who understands it and would have say too much so that they don't regret in the end? I think people is afraid of the truth, afraid of rejection that they will forever keep the things they wanted to say in their heart unless they are at their deathbed. Even so, the answer could be something that they want to hear but it might not be the truth.

I have added so many points into this post that I had run away from the main question: How do you stop caring for someone you have cared for years and still care for?
People just answer: Let it go.
Question is: How do you let it go?
That's when people say: Time is the best medicine. It will heal you. No worries ^^
The question is:  How long will it takes?