Unsettled

I was in a very good mood the whole day today. Or should I say for quite some time even when I am sick. I am at peace and at ease recently. But until just now, after I answered a phone call, it made me feel so anxious until now. I am so worry and I don't think I can sleep until the one I care for is back.


I haven't felt this feeling for more than a month. That's when I found out something I shouldn't have. Something that left me unsettled, worried and thinking for a long time. Just like the time when my friend, J had made me feel. He had left me hanging with loads of questions in mind until I finally think that I should be fair to someone who has been there for me for almost 4 months (This is according to my friends; as me being the usual slow girl, don't feel anything amiss). I stopped being so close with that friend. I do some times think back that I have acted stupidly since if I think that there's nothing there then why should I avoid this friend? Even until now, I still don't think it's that. But how to differentiate? I am always slow.Or maybe I am always in self-denial.

Back to the topic, I hated this unsettled feeling. No matter what incident that provokes it, being worry about someone and not knowing what is actually happening feels very bad. Being worry and not able to be there for the one that you care ~ I hate this feeling. I despise it so much. Just when I have attained inner peace to ignore the other whatsoever that is left hanging (Some times, ignorance is bliss. If I should know then the truth will prevail), this happens. But right now, right this moment, I hope that she is alright. I hope that she will be feeling better. I wish I could be there for her now but at least I ain't that worry since there's so many brothers and sisters by her side now. I shall wait.....