About Me

How come it's about me? I just realized after blogging for so long, I haven't really describe much about myself. So, here goes:

I am in my twenties this year. I don't wish to be pretty nor thinner BUT I wish to be taller ~ not super model tall but 11cm more will do. 11cm more so that I can 5 feet. Even if it's not 11cm, at least a few more cm will do.

For tall people, I don't think they will understand how a few cm will be a difference I guess. Being at my height, there's a lot of things I can't do or being more accurate is I can't reach high places. That the simplest task people would make fun of. At least a few cm taller will allow me to reach a further/higher place in the cabinet, etc.

Behind this smiling face is a mask of someone insecure.

Insecure that people would not acknowledge me for what I do. How people will not take myself seriously and that they will always treat me like a beginner, a small kid. The insecurity of how my friends, family and partner will feel when people are teasing me. Insecurity that they will mind about what others are saying. That I put in more effort to prove myself so that my parents would be proud of me. That I'm more considerate and patience with my partner.

But being too considerate makes people take me for granted. In returns, I realized that I should also take my own feelings into consideration. What's wrong being petite? Height is suppose to be a sensitive issue but if I, myself can't accept this fact, then how would I gain acceptance from others? My height is something that I can't change and if I can't change it, then I should happily face and live with it. And I'm in many ways luckier than a lot of people.

I am way more stronger than my insecurities. And I shouldn't feel insecure about it which I have blogged about it before here. I'm a happy go lucky girl and all the teasing only makes me stronger. I can laugh them off and still be happy. I put in more effort for others to recognize and acknowledge me and this makes me more serious in everything I do and even if they don't turn out as per what I intended, at least I put in all my effort to do it.

I must admit that some times I do still feel insecure out of the blues but I won't let this become an obstacle/barrier in my life. I will never let my height to stand in my way but it will some how differentiate me from others. And that's what makes me who I am today. Besides "Good thing comes in small packages" =p

My first ever picture on the blog
without any blurring effect.