Night Delirium

Some times I just love being awake at this hour. In a state of big emotional wave. The pain that makes me feel so alive yet so lost. I feels like I'm in a love/hate relationship with it.

The feelings, the emotion, the fake mask, the highly accurate 6 sense towards the feeling of others. They who make everything so vague. I feel like closing myself away from everyone. The people whom is not being true. I felt so not healthy being by their side. Some times it's the prejudice but most of the time I knew that there's more to what I see. I just feel like closing myself away from every single person.

I feel like puking til the last bile. Or dispose off everything in me; within me. I wanna go on a retreat, a getaway. Some times I wish I can just ignore everything and just go far far away. To somewhere where I can just forget about everything and doing something I wouldn't have do.

The quiet, peaceful time of this hour is also what I enjoyed. The dilemma of this hour ~ to be at peace with the inner self or to scream my heart out.

My feelings right now -shattered