10 thoughts of a mid twenties

Initially I wanted to call this post a 'Mid Twenties Crisis' as I'm way passed my quarter life crisis (I don't think I can live that long) but I kinda spin the entire direction of the messages and decided that they aren't crisis at all. So, here goes:

Disclaimer first: This post is entirely based on my personal thought at my current stage and differs from a lot of people my age. I’ve been crafting this post for more than a year. Writing, deleting, editing, changing at different time, different mood, different place. So, some part of this post can be super optimistic while some could be quite emo (I hope not).

1) Looking young is not always a good thing.

I'm not the damn 'perasan' type but I do get mistaken by a lot of people as a college/uni student and sometimes people do thought of me as a high school student too. I need to ensure that I always have my IC/license/passport wherever I go (though I always misplaced my wallet) because I'm at a higher chance of being checked by police at road blocks, clubs, casinos and more.

Looking young may be good because people can never guess my real age. I can mix around with people way younger than I do but at times, people just don't take me seriously. It takes time to build trust especially people kept thinking of me as a fresh grad who knows nothing. Or sometimes I just get the 'who are you to guide me', all defensive junior. And everyone tends to treat me like a small kid.

2) Life just don't turn out what you expect it to be.

Life just don't turns out how I pictured myself at 21, 23 and 25. When I started working in the ad agency, I pictured myself being in that industry doing inspiring work but I left. I guess it works the same for you all too. Probably you are wondering that you should be owning a house by now, backpacking and traveling the world, having a significant other or being a successful entrepreneur.

3) It's okay not to know what you want to do BUT knowing what you don't want.

Life may not turn out what we want it to be but at least at this juncture in life, many would have know what they want/aspire to be and chasing a future that seems right there. For me, it's entirely different as I still can't really tell where I'm heading towards. I used to feel lost and insecure for not knowing where my future is leading to but I realized this: why do we have to worry about the future that seems so far away that we don't see ourselves in the present path. Are you doing what you love? Or are you doing something that you don't even want to do?

Do what feels right and of course, know what you don't want. By knowing what we don't want, we will know how to say NO and not do things against our own will unconsciously.

4) Be passionate, be committed.

(Photo credit to healthyfamilymatters.com)

Being passionate about the things you do. Love what you are doing (even you don't know what the future holds) as your passion will become your motivation. Be committed as well. Don't do things halfheartedly or what my mum will say 有头没尾. When you are doing things you are passionate about, it will slowly leads you to a clearer path.

5) Explore and explore before you reach 30.

(Photo credit to philipstein.com)

When you are 30, life should some how or some what settle down. You are more mature, more serious and you should probably be in the process of building a solid career path. So before you reach that age, make sure you explore and explore. Do whatever you want to - whether it's going on a working holiday or backpack and travel the world. Do the things you want while you still can before you start to have commitments.
6) The more you earn, the more commitment you have.

Before this, I thought earning more helps lighten your burden until observation proves otherwise. When you start earning more, you will some how or rather spend and commit to more things.

For example: Work > Buy insurance > Increment > Buy car......

And the list goes on and on. You will spend more when you have more. You start seeing people screaming for help. Don't suffocate yourself with too many commitments. Go slow. Be balance and have some enjoyment in life be it having a little expenses for fun entertainments - food, movie, local travel, etc.
7) It's okay not to be in a relationship.

I'm starting to have friends my age who are moving on to the next stage in life: ENGAGEMENT & MARRIAGE. People starts to ask questions - do you have a bf? why don't you have a bf? etc. And people have been highlighting this to me: at your age, it's the best time to be in a relationship so by the time you are 30, you are already starting to build a family =.=!

My thoughts: there's no point rushing into a relationship. Some times being single is better than being with the wrong person. Being with the wrong person will only cause you emotional damage. So, don't force yourself into any relationship. There are people my age who doubted if the person their with is not the one yet they fear to leave because they worry that they can't find another partner. If you rush into a relationship that's entirely wrong, you might just end up divorcing in the future. So, just go with the flow as the Chinese says 顺其自然.

8) Friendship changed.

Having good friends are some times more important than being in a relationship. A good friend will always be there while a sore relationship will just turn lovers into strangers. At my age, you realized the time you have with friends become lesser and lesser as each have their own commitments to family, work, loved one, etc. And then there are friends who have progress so far ahead that you are walking a different path all together.

It takes time but soon you will notice the distance when you no longer have common topics. You start to have your other group of friends and vice verse. In the end, you will only have a handful of close friends while the rest move on with their life. You don't get to meet those handful of close friends but knowing that the relationship doesn't change because of time & distance is a blessing in disguise.

9) Spend time with whoever matters.

Surround yourself with loved one and don't make yourself a recluse. Have at least one person whom you can confide in, talk to, spend time with and be truly yourself. You are never alone. It's just whether you are spending time with whoever matters. If a person really cares, he/she will make time for you. Also, learn to walk away from destructive relationship.

10) And balance out with some 'me' time.

You can be in a crowd of friends but still feel lonely. And being alone doesn't mean being lonely. Some times, it's good to have some me time. Go spend times doing things on your own just for a moment whether staying at home, watching tv, reading, cooking, baking, cycling, running or going out window shopping, enjoying a meal, coffee or movie. Ignore the gaze and enjoy what you are doing. Simply forget all your problem/stress for that moment and give yourself some break time from being who you are.

People are going to judge no matter what you do. Just be yourself. Stop worrying too much. No matter at what age, just be yourself.